How To Respond To “Anyone Know Who’s Hiring?”

HIRING

 

Part of the joy in being member in an online community, such as a military spouse group, is the wealth of information that can be found among the pages.  Discussion on everything from lunch recommendations to the best nail salons in the area can be quite helpful.  Networking among spouses is also an amazing side effect of being active in military spouse groups.  One of the most asked questions I see in any military community group goes something like: “Does anyone know of a place that’s hiring?  No fast food, retail, or direct sales.  I don’t have any education, experience, or references.  I would like an amazing office job though and a 9 to 5 schedule with weekends off.”

Instead of, “Girl, bye!”– Hi, Gladys!  I don’t have any suggestions that match what you’re looking for, but if you head on over to the ACS, they can help you put together a resume.  You can even head to the local employment office and find professionals that specialize in assisting YOU PEOPLE.  Jk..Don’t say “you people.”

Instead of, “Oh so you’re too good to flip burgers?!”– Fast food can be a great way to gain some work experience and add to your dirty ass resume. Jk…Don’t say “dusty ass.”

Instead of, “If only there existed some kind of system on the world wide web that would allow users to search for information such as this…”– Hi there, Francesca!  I compiled a list of websites that might aid you in your search for employment based upon the information that you’ve given here.  I was able to do this because I possess common sense and the ability to think critically.  Jk..drop the last sentence.

Instead of, “Hi Constance!  I would love to speak with you about joining my team! I would love to help you become a millionaire and fulfill your wildest dreams!”– Greetings!  If you’re interested in direct sales, you can message me!  I am a multilevel marketer who advertises for companies that sell things like clumpy mascara and shake powder that smells like ass.  Jk..Wait, am I?

There are just a few ways that could make a world of difference in someone’s life as they navigate the employment frontier.  There are numerous opportunities that can be found and tons of amazing advice that people can give to those who need it the most.  So I urge all military spouses to connect with each other and share the fantastic opportunities to earn a coin that they’ve discovered.  Just be honest about it, mmmkay?

 

 

 

 

 

Are You A Keyboard Warrior?

Social media has created a platform for the average person to produce content to share with the world.  It has also empowered individuals who normally remain silent and hide in the shadows.  Then there are keyboard warriors.  I always picture keyboard warriors either sitting on the toilet long after they have finished utilizing the facilities ferociously typing out paragraphs of discord followed by a million laughing emojis.  They aren’t quite in the same category as internet trolls, but they are entertaining nonetheless.  I’ve come into contact with quite a few keyboard warriors in the course of my online shenanigans.  I’ve compiled a list of important facts in my observations.

They roll deep.  Have you ever expressed an opinion in public forums or even gone against the grain?  If so, you are most likely familiar with the keyboard warrior’s technique of summoning fellow keyboard warriors with a Facebook tag to appear with their arsenal of laugh emojis and internet backup.  Keyboard warriors rarely stand alone.  Prepare yourself for a calculated dragging.

Passive/aggressive behavior.  Many a keyboard warrior has gone the route of tossing their two cent into the interwebs in a roundabout kind of way.  Rather than to address a person, you’ll often find a statement containing the phrases, “Some people….” Or “People are so…”  They’re the types of folks who vaguebook and tell you that if the shoe fits..

They want the last word.  Depending upon the topic at hand, many keyboard warriors are in it for the long haul.  They will fight you to the facebook group death.  This might include exchanging confrontational comments until theirs is the last comment.  It’ll go on for as long as you participate in the keyboard warriorism.  

They’ll have a conversation about you in front of you.  You’ll often find threads nestled away in comments between people clowning you right in front of your face.  While many keyboard warriors will keep their sentiments relatively hidden and off of the main discussion, some brave souls will carry on beating a dead horse.

They’ll block you and continue warrioring.  Many keyboard warriors suffer from a real life affliction known as lame.  Most likely, a keyboard warrior smells of hot feet and stale breath.  So it’s not surprising to find that they have no problem blocking users and continuing to slander their names.  Most also resort to name calling when they are backed into a corner with logic.  

Bottom line:  Keyboard warriors are plentiful.  It doesn’t take much to set one off, and engaging one in discussion or dialogue will only result in a herd of keyboard warriors rallying not far behind.  Smart phones smudged with unseasoned chicken and broken dreams.  

You Don’t Have to Love Your Duty Station


Quite frequently on my journey through social media groups, I notice spouses express how much they dislike where they are.  This is usually met with a gaggle of randos telling the spouse to leave the house once in a while.  They’re usually met with combative supporters of the original poster, and before you know it, anarchy!  Letting a whole group of spouses know you are not a fan of your duty station is sure to result in a strongly worded post from an admin of said group reminding grown women to be courteous.  Why does expressing dislike for a duty station bring out so much anger?  I have a theory that admitting dislike for a place touches a nerve within some because of the old adage that duty stations “are what you make them.” Sometimes, it just isn’t that easy for people. 

City people vs. country people.  It can be extremely hard to adjust to certain locations if they are vastly different from what a person is accustomed to.  For example, someone from NYC might find locations like Ft. Drum or Ft. Polk incredibly dull and boring.  These locations pale in comparison to large cities like NYC.  Sometimes people get defensive if the place in question is their hometown and they hear that another person does not enjoy it.  While it can be an adventure experiencing different places, it can take some getting used to.  I have definitely lived in places that I did not love, but cultivated friendships that made it bearable.  

What is up with the weather?  This can be another aspect of a location that mght make it undesirable for certain people.  Someone from California or Florida might find being stationed in Alaska like living in someone’s meat locker for some years.  Likewise, Northerners who are used to all 4 seasons might not enjoy being stationed in the South.  I know I’m not trying to be in a climate that breeds big-behind spiders and bugs…no ma’am!  Place with severe winter weather also pose serious risks to folks who aren’t used to driving in such conditions.  This can be really scary.  

Homesickness.  This can be hard to overcome.  One of the most incredibly assinine things I have seen spouses tell someone suffering from homesickness is to “get out and do things..you will never thrive otherwise.  Most people I know who don’t like it here never leave their house and just sit around like some ogres..”  Girl, bye!  Have several seats!  Nothing irks me more than the notion that simply partaking in activities a person might not be interested in will cure all.  This is something a person deals with in his or her own time.  It also doesn’t hurt to offer support though.  Like be a listening ear (or set of eyeballs) when someone reaches out via social media.  

Frequent deployments.  Sometimes families are faced with deployments that seem to just keep coming.  Our last duty station, my husband deployed twice in the span of less than 3 years.  This can be tough to deal with, especially if a spouse is new to the military life.  It is perfectly okay to struggle with coming to terms with living in such a place. Ignore those who tell you to “put on your big girl panties.”  They can also take several seats.  

There are duty stations that offer opportunities of a lifetime (overseas) and ones that make it necessary to dig deep and find a way to make it through until the next PCS.  While one place might be heaven on earth to one spouse, another may be experiencing severe F This Place-itis.  AND THAT IS OKAY.  Others might also be masking their disgust with a duty station because they fear being attacked by others or maybe it’s expected of them to hold their tongue and pretend it’s Candyland.  Either way, you aren’t breaking any federal laws by not liking your duty station.  

5 Struggles Shift Work Presents To Military Spouses


One of the harships presented to military spouses is the dreaded shift work schedule.  Whether a spouse performs in a job that requires regular shift work, or special duties like CQ on occasion, the struggle can often be too real.  Many spouses have had to learn to take daily life in stride when dealing with schedules that present conflict and interfere with participating in activities.  There are quite a few challenges military spouses have learned how to overcome…or have just grown used to.

1. Snow days and post closure do not apply.  This is one I have had the pleasure of being affected by, as the wife of a soldier who is considered to be essential personnel.  While those around me enjoyed the day off with their spouses, posting photos cuddling on the couch under their raggedy blankets, my husband was required to be at work.  So I had to post selfies shoveling my own darn driveway.  

2.  Four day weekends?  What are those?  I have also learned to say goodbye to extended weekends with my husband, because they are incredibly rare.  When they do happen, they are usually in blocks of 3 days during random days of the week.  While this doesn’t affect our time together as a family now, it was quite troublesome when I worked a regular 9-5 job.  We had to literally make the time to spend with one another and take care of the house in shifts.  It was exhausting.  Even if a spouse is simply on CQ during a 4 day weekend, it can put a wrench in plans.  

3.  When you also work full-time.  This is quite possibly hell on earth.  Well, maybe not that dramatic, but things can get challenging to say the least.  Especially if you have children and school activities.  While many military spouses stay home with the kids, or even work from home, those who retain employment outside of the home find that juggling schedules is like playing a game of tetris.  Just when you think you finally have the perfect formula for success, BAM!  His schedule changes again.  

4.  Sleeping alone is not ideal.  Before you come for me, I know people with deployed spouses sleep alone every night…and it sucks.  However, for those of us whose crusty baby daddies are not deployed, we are used to putting our cold feet on him on the regular.  So when shifts fall overnight, it can leave us wondering what in the netflix marathon am I supposed to do with my life?  Personally, I sleep on my husband’s side of the bed in his absence and it helps me fall asleep faster.  

5.  Attending unit functions or other activities alone makes you feel like a loser.  Sure, there’s always that one friend who invites you to sit with her and her husband out of pity, but no one wants to be the third wheel.  Of course, not everyone attends functions, but I enjoy making an appearance and partaking in the fun.  I also feel a lot more comfortable when my husband is with me so I’m not navigating through a sea of strangers alone. 

There are so many ways to look at shift work in a negative light, but there are also some perks.  When my husband does get days off, we are able to get our shopping done during the week when stores are empty.  We can also enjoy activities off post that are much less crowded than the weekends.  It’s also fun to prance around having family time while everyone else is working.  How bow dah!  

The Truth About Staged Homecoming Photos

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I know that many of us have primped and primed for that professional photo shoot. The one documenting the dramatic moment when lovers are once again reunited following a deployment. Yeah, it’s sweet and can produce amazing photographs that will be forever cherished. It can also present some comical situations that completely blow the event out of proportion.

High expectations can lead to actions that aren’t genuine. Think about the photographs plastered across almost any and every possible corner of the interwebs. The fairy tale poses depicting two lovers in one another’s arms with glee splashed across their faces. Some jump onto their significant other and wrap their legs around them for a smooch. First of all, ain’t nobody got time to be trying to catch my heavy self. I just don’t behave that way publicly with my husband and capturing memories doing so would seem fake to me.

The pressure to shop for the ‘perfect outfit’ can add stress.  Homecoming is already an exciting and emotional day. Why add to the list of things to do by stressing over which prom dress to wear to a musty gym to pick up your spouse? While it is a pretty big occasion, I have always kept it business casual for pictures because that’s just who we are as a couple.

Your significant other might need to race to the bathroom.  Don’t put too much stock into That Moment. You know the one. You spot each other from across the way and frolick into each other’s arms looking like the couple from Twilight. Then he/she says, “I need to pee really bad.”  There goes your million snapshots of the moment.

You’ll be in a sea of amateur photographers low crawling to capture moments for their clients.  This is super awkward. I feel like I’ve literally tripped over several aspiring Facebook photographers as they set up shop to capture every single nose hair and bit of drool from people ugly crying. Homecoming ceremonies have gotten so Hallmark over the years. I also don’t shed tears when my husband returns from deployment so I always feel like a heartless ice queen when I’m stepping over blubbering spouses to get to my baby daddy.

While I absolutely love the photographs taken at homecoming, I’m not sure that I would hire a photographer again. It amounted to posing after we already said hello.  I feel like we could’ve just grabbed anyone in the gym to snap a few shots of us together. I’m also a person who finds it a tad creepy having someone take pictures of me kissing my husband. Don’t feel bad if you can relate.

 

How To Deal With Overly Attached Military Spouse

OverlyAttached

If you’ve been in the military community long enough you start noticing that it’s truly a melting pot of personalities.  As a service member, I found it much easier to connect to people because everyone had the same goal and we suffered together.  As a spouse, I’ve been faced with some cringe worthy situations brought on by overly attached military spouses.  Usually well meaning, these individuals have violated my nature and my space.  I’ve developed some strategies to handle the overly attached military spouse.

The neighbor who knows absolutely no boundaries.  This one can be very tricky.  While some neighbors rush to greet new arrivals, others move at their own time.  Personally, I’m borderline introverted.  I need to get a feel for people before I commit time to them or invite them into my space.  I have never gotten to know my neighbors on more than a “hello, how are you?” basis, and that’s just who I am.  I’ve gotten lucky with great neighbors in the course of my time around the Army, but some can be a bit much.  One approach you can take is to let nosey Sharkeisha next door know that you’re not really interested in hanging out because she’s too loud.  Orrrr, you can be a little more diplomatic and just keep blowing her off until she gets the hint.  I’ve been known to walk around looking upset (resting b-word face), so I’m already naturally unapproachable.  Try that next time Bertha from the block strikes up a conversation you aren’t interested in.  

The rando you met on FB who you just can’t shake.  Facebook groups can be a godsend for military spouses in terms of meeting new people and making friends.  It can also help mask everyone’s crazy because you only see their online persona initially.  Once a meeting takes place and the realization hits that there are absolutely no common interests between you and this person, it can be a bummer.  Adding to the chaos, some people just don’t see things the same.  So now your messenger is blowing up with 20 questions about when your next friend date will be.  HELP!  The first thing to remember is that you don’t want to burn bridges in the small military community.  You might end up having to take one for the team and schedule another get together further down the road..like maybe a year.  I mean, most of us have “that friend” who had to grow on us.  Maybe this will be yours.  If you’re cold blooded and don’t care to spare feelings, you could always let her know that it’s not you, it’s her.  

The spouse with whom you don’t click but feel obligated to remain friends with.  This can be the spouse whose husband works with yours.  Maybe the menfolk (or women) hit it off and now they expect you to be friends.  The only issue is that her voice is like nails on a chalkboard as far as you’re concerned.  This situation sucks because you find yourself torn between wanting to cultivate your spouse’s friendships outside of work and running for the hills.  This is another situation where you can opt to suck it up and learn to love scratching chalkbords.  Or you can limit plans to only when husbands are present.  There aren’t too many ways out of this tragic set of circumstances, but survival is defintely possible. 

I’ve always felt sort of obligated to be surrounded by women in a Sex and the City PG-13 type of setting.  We’d tag each other in wine memes and post statuses about how they’re our chosen family or “tribe.”  Thanks, Army Wives.  Ever since that daggone show I’ve felt like the lonliest army wife ever.  Am I supposed to walk around in a thong at a military ball just to make friends?  I’m not sure how I’ve managed, but I have definitely met some amazing people that I don’t plan on losing touch with.  Thanks, Facebook.  I’ve always met some unsavory folks, such as the overly attached military spouse.  I guess it just comes with the territory.  There’s also nothing wrong with simply letting someone know that you aren’t interested in their company.  I’ve never taken that approach, so I’m going to need you to report back. 

 

5 Questions Spouses Ask That Get Side Eyed

Hey girl, heyyy! 


On the flip side of things, sometimes we see questions posed in spouse groups that make us give an extreme side eye.  I can’t stress how important it is for military family members to educate themselves on certain matters.  There are many resources, such as ACS, Military OneSource, Google, and even informative blogs and publications (such as armywife101.com or Military Spouse Magazine) geared towards spouses that offer a variety of useful bits of knowledge.  While I don’t believe there is such a thing as a stupid question…I mean, within reason…don’t worry, help is on the way.  I’m also happy to point anyone in the proper direction to avoid becoming a casualty to the following questions:

Where do I go to sign up for the free child care that I’m entitled to?  Like everyone else, members of the military community must pay for their own child care.  However, I know the child care on Army posts do offer certain types of discounts and freebies for family members of deployed service members that are worth looking into.

My husband failed the promotion board, but was promoted anyway and now his command is trying to take it away from him.  The legal office has said nothing can be done but the spouse groups say otherwise..can someone please tell me where to go so I can sue the chain of command for this tragic injustice?  I feel like the biggest downfall of spouse groups is the tremendous amount of misinformation that gets passed around like the last cigarette on a drunken night.  You aren’t going to find information more accurate to any situation than what the legal office advises.

Is the commissary open today? What are the hours? Can someone go there and send me pictures of the produce section?  I’d rather see what the bananas look like before I put pants on.  Thanks!  This is probably the most asked question on any holiday.  While I do understand that people want to know, there are also places like base listings that will offer information such as hours and phone numbers where people can call.  I feel like this is one of those loaded questions that will have spouse groups coming for your whole life.

Where do I go to file an ICE complaint against my husband’s team leader?  My husband had to drive halfway to work in this treacherous snow because his boss didn’t call him before he left the house to let him know work call has been delayed.  Okay….the most common misconception that I see being sung from the top of many spouses’s lungs is to “FILE AN ICE COMPLAINT!”  The Interactive Customer Evaluation system is not designed to receive grievances from spouses who are annoyed by petty things like this.  I’ll now provide you an example of one instance where filing an ICE comment would be necessary.  Say you walk into the finance office and the lady at the front desk says, “I’ll be right with you, Hippo.  Take a seat and I’ll moo when it’s your turn.”  Yeah..you might want to complain about that.

I just got a speeding ticket, what do I do?  Are there any special military powers that protect family members from police persecution?  Nope.  You’re going to have to go ahead and take a huge L for this.  I’ll even tell you what to do and end all speculation:  Follow the directions on the ticket.  Novelty idea right?  The military is not exempt from the law of the land.  I’ve been to traffic court and it was full of service members from Privates to Captains.

The bottom line is that sometimes I wonder where life has been failing a lot of our spouses today.  There has never been a time in history where information has been so readily available.  Literally at our fingertips and just a click away, if not a phone call away.  I want to say some of it is just plain common sense, but there are a lot of younger spouses and whatnot that need guidance and mentorship.  And maybe a few side-eye glances from time to time.  ❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Times Military Spouses Were Petty AF: Vol 3

It’s been such a blast putting together the many times I’m sure many of us have chuckled in amusement as we navigate social media. Although it’s all in good fun, I think we could all learn something from each other using various approaches. Without further ado, I give you…5 times Military Spouses Were Petty AF:

1. Does anyone know when USAA gets paid? Thanks in advance! “First of all, you can find this information on Google..as USAA posts their entire schedule for the year. Second, since you’re so broke, why don’t you take your looking-for-direct-deposit self and apply for a position dusting off boxes in the back of the commissary? A job is a job. You should also look into Dave Ramsey since you’re so destitute you can’t afford to buy a bag of generic pork rinds. You know finance offers classes for people like you..oh and you’ll love this..wait for it: THEY’RE FREE!”

2.  Rant alert: “So I was driving around in circles for about 20 minutes in the parking lot at the BX because some douche canoe decided to park their vehicle in a parking spot and their wheels touched the line! I can’t believe how horrible the people on this base are! Here’s a few pictures I took of parking jobs that have sent me into a fit of rage and straight to Facebook. Be advised; I’m calling the MPs on every single one of you. I’ve been wandering base all morning with my Happy Planner & Pink fountain pen writing down license plate numbers. You won’t get away with this!” 

3. There’s something happening at the gate! Does anyone know anything? Omg, prayers! “I just drove through the gate on my way home from picking up 3 acai refreshers with almond milk when I stopped to pretend to give an MP one of the drinks so I could ask him what was going on. He told me to look straight ahead and drive directly home. Then the barriers got stuck halfway up! There was a car outside the gate and flashing lights everywhere. I’m pretty sure it was ISIS. Prayers!” Turns out, someone just got pulled over for speeding outside the gate and the barriers had been malfunctioning all day.

4. Hi ladies. I’m new here and the last place we were didn’t play Taps at night and it’s so loud! Does anyone have any suggestions on how to adjust to it? Thanks! “I suggest you stop being so unamerican. It’s the highest honor in the land to have your baby’s sleep disrupted by the playing of Taps. My entire household stops what we are doing and we stand at attention and reflect on what it means to be standing in our living room late at night. You should be happy and thankful that you have ears to listen to such a beautiful melody. Have some respect, Doo Doo Brown.” 

5. Hi, my neighbors are so noisy. They play music late at night and sometimes have parties. What shall I do? “Girl, call the MPs. People are so disrespectful here. I have never in my entire life met so many people who like to get together and have a few drinks. It makes the entire neighborhood look like a bunch of butt hats. I saw you go balls to the wall and contact the garrison commander. He will definitely do something about it. Make sure after you call the MPs that you go down to the CID office and get the criminal investigators involved. You pay way too much housing allowance to have to deal with other people. I’m with you! And so, we persist!” 

I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in having a decent giggle at some of these scenarios. *Inspired by actual events. 

5 Common Complaints Military Spouses Have About Children…& How to Cope

It seems like I can’t get on social media anymore to be nosey in military spouse type groups without large amounts of complaints. Facebook groups have literally turned into unofficial ICE customer service outlets for the digital age. Chief among the complaints I have seen are mischievous children on military installations. Now that we’re in the month of the military child, I wanted to honor the little critters. It’s not easy being a military kid. Here is why:

Complaint: “Oh my gosh, there are some really disrespectful teenagers out here talking about inappropriate things.”  Uhh..Okay?  I think most of us cannot tell a lie and say we weren’t potty-mouthed teens at some point.  As an adult, it’s also not unheard of to do a spot correction on children if they are using inappropriate language around smaller children.

Complaint: “There is a group of children outside who keep on tracking dirt onto the sidewalk and making so much noise that I can’t even keep my window open because they are disturbing my darling poodle, Beaver.”  I see this one a lot.  I mean, kids go outside and play…it’s what they do.  I know it might be a little less tolerable for those without children, but I think for parents it just comes with the territory.  I’ve had friends complain to me about being waken up at 8am by children playing outside.  All I could think was, “You’re able to sleep that late??”

Complaint:  “If you’re the parents of either of the teenagers showed in this picture that I very creepily obtained by low crawling through the grass that housing doesn’t keep mowed very well..you might want to let them know that holding hands and kissing is disgusting.”  Okay, come on.  I think we can all look back with some nostalgia at being young and in love.  I also wouldn’t advise people to post pictures of other people’s children without consent.  I mean, back in the day people parented without social media..

Complaint:  “These kids are out of control!  They’re out playing ding dong ditch again and I can’t take it anymore.  Who raised these kids?  My infant will never be this way because I will raise him to be an angel who comes home, does homework, and sits down to crochet with me.  If your kid plays ding dong ditch, I just assume you don’t love them.”  This is always my favorite complaint because it sparks a huge debate every time someone complains about it.  Kids will be kids, folks.  Part of childhood includes ding dong ditch.  I do agree that it’s disrespectful.  Again, I won’t pretend that I didn’t play it when I was young.  It’s part of mischief that kids get into.  I will say that the source of this complaint usually doesn’t have children that age of their own so they can’t relate.

Complaint:  “These crusty behind kids keep on running through a corner of my unfenced, bare government-issued housing yard and I’m not having it.  Tell your kids to learn respect for people’s property.”  The yards in question are never fenced in and share an invisible boundary with common areas like fields and spaces between houses.  Some kids run and play, some stay indoors and play with electronics all day.

It’s hard being a military kid.  I think that sometimes we forget what childhood was like.  We forget that we pulled off the same stuff and got into mischief and even trouble.  Children need guidance and are not fully developed or mature.  A smile and friendly reminder usually go a long way when it comes to speaking with children.  Sometimes the best approach is to take a deep breath and realize that it isn’t the end of the world.  Food will still appear on your table if loud children are outside playing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Times Military Spouses Were Petty AF: Vol. 2

Vol2

This is a continuation of the series I started.  I had such a blast writing the first installment that I decided to quickly follow up with Vol. 2.  I know we’ve all come across some crazy responses to questions frequently asked in Facebook groups.  Sometimes we cringe, sometimes we laugh. Although this is all in good fun, I know most of us can relate on some level.  Without further ado, I give you 5 more times military spouses were petty af:

Hi, I was wondering if anyone can tell me how the roads are? “Here we go.  Get a load of this newb.  Hey Grover, this ain’t the Weather Channel.  Every single winter, this happens and I’m about to lose my whole mind.  It drains the life out of me to see a post about weather.  Who raised you?!  If I see one more incompetent wife asking how the roads are, I’m going to throw my iPhone 4s across the room so hard, Straight Talk will feel it.  Better yet, why don’t you scroll the page? Someone posted about this 5 hours ago!”

Does anyone know the number to Pizzas Rain or Shine?  I’d like to order delivery tonight.  “Wait…you mean to tell me that you’re going to risk a delivery driver’s life during this weather?  What kind of monster are you?  This is what’s wrong with America today.  People like you who feel entitled to order pizza.  I’m sickened by this question and I hope that you don’t kiss your babies with that mouth.”

I’m new here and I really don’t like it.  Any advice on how to cope with homesickness?  “Sounds like you need an attitude adjustment, snowflake.  For starters, how about you try leaving your fleabag housing and explore this beautiful area that you’ve been blessed with?  This area is what you make it and those who don’t like it can kick rocks.  Don’t bring yourself back on this page talking about you don’t like it here.  Open the curtains to your dungeon every once in a while and stop being an introvert.  No one likes a serial killer.”

Does anyone have any recommendations for places to get a puppy?  We really want a Siberian Husky.  “How about you take your sorry behind down to the animal shelter and adopt?  You must be one of those people who think they’re too good for a mutt.  There are so many dogs that need to be rescued and you’re out here looking for a puppy that you actually want.  Yeah, I’m side-eyeing you, Michael Vick.”

Hey ladies!  Can someone point me in the right direction?  I am looking for the ID card office.  Thanks in advance!  “You know, Facebook has added this awesome feature to groups called a SEARCH BAR!  It’s totally free to use.  I’m sure there have been a million posts asking where the ID card office is and if I have to read one more, I’m going to deactivate my Facebook for the day.  Matter of fact, here’s a screenshot for you.  I’ve circled where you need to click and exactly what to type in to find your answer.  You’re welcome.”  

I know you have all seen examples of these things.  They’re very real and hopefully by raising awareness, we can put an end to the tom foolery.  (Probably not though)