5 Times Military Spouses Were Petty AF: Vol. 2

Vol2

This is a continuation of the series I started.  I had such a blast writing the first installment that I decided to quickly follow up with Vol. 2.  I know we’ve all come across some crazy responses to questions frequently asked in Facebook groups.  Sometimes we cringe, sometimes we laugh. Although this is all in good fun, I know most of us can relate on some level.  Without further ado, I give you 5 more times military spouses were petty af:

Hi, I was wondering if anyone can tell me how the roads are? “Here we go.  Get a load of this newb.  Hey Grover, this ain’t the Weather Channel.  Every single winter, this happens and I’m about to lose my whole mind.  It drains the life out of me to see a post about weather.  Who raised you?!  If I see one more incompetent wife asking how the roads are, I’m going to throw my iPhone 4s across the room so hard, Straight Talk will feel it.  Better yet, why don’t you scroll the page? Someone posted about this 5 hours ago!”

Does anyone know the number to Pizzas Rain or Shine?  I’d like to order delivery tonight.  “Wait…you mean to tell me that you’re going to risk a delivery driver’s life during this weather?  What kind of monster are you?  This is what’s wrong with America today.  People like you who feel entitled to order pizza.  I’m sickened by this question and I hope that you don’t kiss your babies with that mouth.”

I’m new here and I really don’t like it.  Any advice on how to cope with homesickness?  “Sounds like you need an attitude adjustment, snowflake.  For starters, how about you try leaving your fleabag housing and explore this beautiful area that you’ve been blessed with?  This area is what you make it and those who don’t like it can kick rocks.  Don’t bring yourself back on this page talking about you don’t like it here.  Open the curtains to your dungeon every once in a while and stop being an introvert.  No one likes a serial killer.”

Does anyone have any recommendations for places to get a puppy?  We really want a Siberian Husky.  “How about you take your sorry behind down to the animal shelter and adopt?  You must be one of those people who think they’re too good for a mutt.  There are so many dogs that need to be rescued and you’re out here looking for a puppy that you actually want.  Yeah, I’m side-eyeing you, Michael Vick.”

Hey ladies!  Can someone point me in the right direction?  I am looking for the ID card office.  Thanks in advance!  “You know, Facebook has added this awesome feature to groups called a SEARCH BAR!  It’s totally free to use.  I’m sure there have been a million posts asking where the ID card office is and if I have to read one more, I’m going to deactivate my Facebook for the day.  Matter of fact, here’s a screenshot for you.  I’ve circled where you need to click and exactly what to type in to find your answer.  You’re welcome.”  

I know you have all seen examples of these things.  They’re very real and hopefully by raising awareness, we can put an end to the tom foolery.  (Probably not though)

 

 

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