The Irrationally Angry Military Spouse


Over the years, the military spouse social media community has seen stereotypes blown completely out of proportion.  We’ve all heard the “dependa” jokes, seen the memes, and liked the satire videos.  The entire community of military spouses has beat the dead dependa horse so much, that many have become the new stereotypical Irrationally Angry Military Spouse.  They usually travel in social media hordes, armed with Facebook tags for their BFFs..who they often describe as “just as blunt and honest as I am.”  Girl, bye.  You all know the types:

An unwitting military spouse posts a cute little craft in a military spouse Facebook group that reads, “I can get through anything because I’m an Army Wife.”  Okay, I understand how these types of arts and crafts aren’t everyone’s cup of tea.  I also understand why military spouses find these sayings inspirational and supportive.  However, Brenda and her crew often come through with the rebuttal, “The army is my husband’s job, not the reason I’m strong” or “I don’t identify with any portion of my husband’s employment.”  Okay, got it.  Brenda n’em will usually follow up with passive-aggressive memes or gifs aimed at humiliating the original poster.  Also, Brenda is unemployed.

The Irrationally Angry Military Spouse needs you to know that she is simply a civilian who is married to someone who just happens to be in the military.  These types are perfectly fine making an argument that discredits any strength the military life may have instilled.  They roll their eyes at FRG meetings, and refuse to participate in any form of military function.  They wouldn’t dare post a photograph of their spouses in uniform on social media accounts for fear of being called a dependa.

The group of spouses who compare members of the United States Armed Forces to employees at McDonald’s.  This usually happens when a spouse seeks guidance within a Facebook group about getting speaking with a spouse’s unit for assistance with personal matters.  The unsuspecting victim often asks how to contact a service member’s chain of command or where to start.  Of course, Brenda n’em come out of the woodwork with, “OMG, don’t go to his chain of command.  Would you go to his manager if he worked at McDonald’s?”  Have several seats, Brenda.  A military unit is there for family members as well as service members, and advising another spouse to steer clear becomes counterproductive.  It also makes spouses fear using a very important resource that is available to them.  Don’t listen to Brenda when she screeches, “Would you call yourself a McDonald’s Wife?!!!!!!!!”

There’s always a handful of spouses who still claim to have knowledge of spouses of high ranking officials demand to be saluted.  This is the biggest military spouse urban legend out there.  I have never once, in all of my years both in service and as a spouse, witnessed another spouse demand to be saluted.  This is right up there with the mythical spouse who demands to be addressed by her husband’s rank.  Anyone who says otherwise is going to be sent to Maury immediately because it will be determined to be a lie.  Why you always lyinnnnn?  This isn’t something to be irrationally angry about.  Many of these same women claim to overhear other wives speaking about how they’ll never address service members of a lower rank than their own spouses.

It’s a never ending circus of shenanigans sometimes within the military spouse community.  There’s nothing wrong with being proud of the job these service members are out here doing.  As for Brenda and her squad….serving in the military doesn’t equate to working at McDonald’s.  Find some new arguments to back up your irrational anger.  These stereotypical angry spouses now outnumber the stereotypical dependa 100000 to 1.














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